This past weekend was packed with a lot of comedy and poker as CT came to town and the Tropicana was kind enough to provide a free room for the two of us. I always was most comfortable at the poker table. I think that’s where my interaction with an audience truly began. It’s the process of entertaining a crowd whether for three hours of a tournament or as was the case on Friday a sixteen hour cash game session. Not everyone appreciate the jokes and the commentary but usually I bring over 60-80% of the table who don’t want to leave and don’t want me to leave. Some of the tales I tell are designed to get certain results for the most part I just yuck it up and it is there that I do my best crowd work.
I’ve never been one to talk to strangers on airplanes or buses. I typically kept to myself even before the advent of ipods but at the table I’m a completely different person and if I could get that persona on stage I’d be one step closer to the success I seek. After doing unwritten material for two days and three nights in AC I came home to do the new talent show at Gotham and although I only had a short four minute set, it went well and I feel like my new material always ceases to disappoint and I’m looking forward to doing my current set at Laugh Lounge this Saturday. Sunday Night I went to Pieces for Menage a Ha part Deux.
I still need to write my reviw of Menage a Ha part one but I’ll start with Menage a Ha Part Deux which like many sequels was not quite as strong as the original but was still a great time. I really recommend Christian’s show at Pieces, whether gay straight or bisexual you can appreciate the mixed comedy in a comfortable setting. Although a little tight, you can’t beat the easy access by taking the ABCDEF to West 4th and plenty of late night drunken food to end your night, even with the loss of the rat infested KFC/Taco Bell. Part Deux consisted of the very funny Imrana Zaman, Julie Marcus, Brad Loekle, and headliner Becky Donahue. Danny Leary was back from the first Menage a Ha “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.” And of course always hilarious gay Puerto Rican, Christian Cintron, “We’ll either fuck you or we’ll cut you.” After the night great conversation ensued with fellow comics Chesslee Calloway, Stu Mason, Amanda Beals, Keith an Irish comic and the performers. Late night drinking led to a 2:30 drunken sleep but I’ll definitely be back for Menage a Ha part Tres and if you have any Sundays open check out Pieces at the corner of Christopher and Gay.
Coming up is the comedy contest at Laugh Lounge for the Comic in Residence Program. Hopefully many will make it out and support. It should be a great lineup and a great show, I know I'm coming to represent. All information can be found at my myspace page: www.myspace.com/mattebner or at laughlongenyc.com
Evil happens when good people sit back and do nothing...
Monday, March 26, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Taint Comedy Great?
Taint comedy great?
I’ve had trouble updating here and I think it is because the purpose of it was lost on me but I’ve gotten a new motivation and that hopefully will make this a more daily to weekly event and less of a weekly to monthly event. There’s always a joke of the day or a comedian’s perspective but my current world is a rare blend of being both a fan of comedy and an active participant. Yesterday I had two important gigs.
First I auditioned for last comic standing. The American Idol of comedy and while the results were vacant and at best I left with being accused of being unoriginal, at best I met several comedians, reaffirmed my commitment to comedy to myself and learned that sometimes the journey is worth more than the moment it leads to. I’ll finish this entry with an explanation of the LCS process but the highlight of my week was a show produced by Chesslee Clay Calloway at Kabin at 92 2nd Avenue called Taint Comedy Great.
By far the best show I’ve been to at a bar. The lineup was great including Amanda Beals, Eric Andre and of course Chesslee Calloway. The room was intimate but comfortably sat the 40 person audience and the bar may have been a borderline hole in the wall that happens to be my personal preference. I was happy with my set, although I broke my rule of not drinking before performing. The Wild Turkey slowed my rhythm and slurred some punch lines but helped my stage presence, audience interaction and overall confidence. After the show was a good gathering of comics and comic appreciators and I ended the night at a diner with Stu Mason and Amanda Beals, where many laughs were had. I’ll definitely be attending the next rendition of Taint Comedy Great, probably as an audience member but I highly recommend it regardless as the show is professionally done and entertaining beyond its cover of FREE.
Last Comic Standing began for me at 1:00 PM on Tuesday the 20th. I’ve always been one to arrive ahead of schedule and while 19 hours is a little much it ended up being fortunate as only 113 people auditioned. I’ve heard not a single comic was welcomed back from open auditions and perhaps they only use the foolish freshman and sophomores of comedy to fill blooper reels but regardless it was an opportunity to both meet comics and have comics meet me. I met several local comics, too many to name although I’m sure I’ll be attending their shows in the future and mentioning them here. I also met comics from Ohio, Maine and the middle of the country (all those states are the same to me). Waiting on line began as a game but as the cold came quickly became a burden. We spent mixed hours shivering in the cold and drinking at a local bar while taking turns grabbing food and watching each other’s spots. Despite the competition most were friendly and realistic of their chances and while the sun rose, the people who were out for themselves were obvious and unwelcomed and the fact that the comics who were funniest were also friendliest was reaffirming.
Will I try out for Last Comic Standing next year despite my negative 26 second audition experience…probably. My brother will be living in New York and he will want the exposure the networking opportunity has no comparison and for me pulling an all nighter while marginally inconvenient is no real burden when compared to my lifetime of insomnia. I will take the advice I received more seriously. Uber clean, quick punchlines and material that is neither generic nor too jokey. Have a plethora of subject matter available to cater to specific judges and appeal comfortable, marketable and overall capable. With the change in objective expect more entries more often and more entertaining.
Comedy – If it was easy everyone would do it.
I’ve had trouble updating here and I think it is because the purpose of it was lost on me but I’ve gotten a new motivation and that hopefully will make this a more daily to weekly event and less of a weekly to monthly event. There’s always a joke of the day or a comedian’s perspective but my current world is a rare blend of being both a fan of comedy and an active participant. Yesterday I had two important gigs.
First I auditioned for last comic standing. The American Idol of comedy and while the results were vacant and at best I left with being accused of being unoriginal, at best I met several comedians, reaffirmed my commitment to comedy to myself and learned that sometimes the journey is worth more than the moment it leads to. I’ll finish this entry with an explanation of the LCS process but the highlight of my week was a show produced by Chesslee Clay Calloway at Kabin at 92 2nd Avenue called Taint Comedy Great.
By far the best show I’ve been to at a bar. The lineup was great including Amanda Beals, Eric Andre and of course Chesslee Calloway. The room was intimate but comfortably sat the 40 person audience and the bar may have been a borderline hole in the wall that happens to be my personal preference. I was happy with my set, although I broke my rule of not drinking before performing. The Wild Turkey slowed my rhythm and slurred some punch lines but helped my stage presence, audience interaction and overall confidence. After the show was a good gathering of comics and comic appreciators and I ended the night at a diner with Stu Mason and Amanda Beals, where many laughs were had. I’ll definitely be attending the next rendition of Taint Comedy Great, probably as an audience member but I highly recommend it regardless as the show is professionally done and entertaining beyond its cover of FREE.
Last Comic Standing began for me at 1:00 PM on Tuesday the 20th. I’ve always been one to arrive ahead of schedule and while 19 hours is a little much it ended up being fortunate as only 113 people auditioned. I’ve heard not a single comic was welcomed back from open auditions and perhaps they only use the foolish freshman and sophomores of comedy to fill blooper reels but regardless it was an opportunity to both meet comics and have comics meet me. I met several local comics, too many to name although I’m sure I’ll be attending their shows in the future and mentioning them here. I also met comics from Ohio, Maine and the middle of the country (all those states are the same to me). Waiting on line began as a game but as the cold came quickly became a burden. We spent mixed hours shivering in the cold and drinking at a local bar while taking turns grabbing food and watching each other’s spots. Despite the competition most were friendly and realistic of their chances and while the sun rose, the people who were out for themselves were obvious and unwelcomed and the fact that the comics who were funniest were also friendliest was reaffirming.
Will I try out for Last Comic Standing next year despite my negative 26 second audition experience…probably. My brother will be living in New York and he will want the exposure the networking opportunity has no comparison and for me pulling an all nighter while marginally inconvenient is no real burden when compared to my lifetime of insomnia. I will take the advice I received more seriously. Uber clean, quick punchlines and material that is neither generic nor too jokey. Have a plethora of subject matter available to cater to specific judges and appeal comfortable, marketable and overall capable. With the change in objective expect more entries more often and more entertaining.
Comedy – If it was easy everyone would do it.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Based on a true story
One of my pet peeves is, “so, this is a true story,” it gives me the impression that all your other stories are sprinkled with falsehoods. It goes back to when I was hanging out with these sorority girls and before any comment they would say, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m so hungry.” You know what lie, say you’re famished, that you’ve been starving and traveling through a desert for weeks. It got me so irritated I started prefacing all my statements with, “I’m gonna lie; I’ve never been more turned on by someone’s personality.” So on that premise, none of this story is true.
I’m an alcoholic, and while most alcoholics can trace there disease over years and several tribulations mine goes back to one event; it was actually my first trip to a bar. My older cousin got me in, even though I was underage and told me to sit by the bar, they wouldn’t let me stand on it until much later, but eventually, I was charming when I was younger. She spent most of the night with her friends and I spent most of mine with the bartender. When the end of the night came she drunkenly stumbled out of the bar, but she forgot something. She didn’t forget her keys, not her credit card, she forgot her two year old cousin. It was then that I found out that to become an alcoholic you only require the two A’s Abandonment and Access, well either that or a two drink minimum.
I think most things are based on true stories but memory has a way of tweaking things. Some quotes: History is written by the victors and memory works the same way on an individual basis and Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one
I’m an alcoholic, and while most alcoholics can trace there disease over years and several tribulations mine goes back to one event; it was actually my first trip to a bar. My older cousin got me in, even though I was underage and told me to sit by the bar, they wouldn’t let me stand on it until much later, but eventually, I was charming when I was younger. She spent most of the night with her friends and I spent most of mine with the bartender. When the end of the night came she drunkenly stumbled out of the bar, but she forgot something. She didn’t forget her keys, not her credit card, she forgot her two year old cousin. It was then that I found out that to become an alcoholic you only require the two A’s Abandonment and Access, well either that or a two drink minimum.
I think most things are based on true stories but memory has a way of tweaking things. Some quotes: History is written by the victors and memory works the same way on an individual basis and Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one
Friday, February 23, 2007
Some things are lost on me
I've never been able to comprehend temperature. I know hot and cold, I know the human body is 98.6 degrees. I know water boils at 212 and freezes at 32 its the 40-80 degree range that confuses me. You know, relevant temperature. If it's 52 or 63 all I need to know is whether I need a sweatshirt, a jacket or two pairs of socks.
I'm unbelievably accurate with time and how long things take, direction on the other hand. I often rise from the subway and have a knotting feeling that north is south, or even worse, east. I lose track of turns when streets are diagnal or turn unnaturally. I remember where I've been and how to get there when I'm driving, but as a passenger, forget it, as a hostage I'd be useless. Show tonight at the laugh lounge to hear the funny, this is more about downloading those off beat thoughts.
I'm unbelievably accurate with time and how long things take, direction on the other hand. I often rise from the subway and have a knotting feeling that north is south, or even worse, east. I lose track of turns when streets are diagnal or turn unnaturally. I remember where I've been and how to get there when I'm driving, but as a passenger, forget it, as a hostage I'd be useless. Show tonight at the laugh lounge to hear the funny, this is more about downloading those off beat thoughts.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Why I'm not concerned
THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END
Proclamations of Armageddon have existed since the inception of the intelligence of man. One who knows a beginning foresees an end. But I'm not worried. Why? Let's say the world was to end tomorrow, it would be done, it would be over and all the worriers would no longer exist. Televangelist would go to their make believe heaven and sinners to their imaginary hell and the rest of the energy would be re-dispersed accordingly.
Too bitter? How about we concentrate on the history of man, of disaster and overcoming it, there is no great meteor in our immediate future; we only dwell on the possibility. If the end is coming it is inevitable, no science, no faith is averting some great flood, so ignore it or accept it if the horizon brings disaster it's already here.
Live each day like it is your last. What a crock. There's a reason why life has an order and assuming today without tomorrow would be the same as ignoring all the yesterdays, we learn, we adapt, we survive for the purposes set forth...no bother. Why the diatribe? I'll get to that later but the long and short of it is a day doesn't go by without some passer mentioning or holding a sign about the inevitable conclusion of our wasted lives...if they really believed that, that the end was so near, would they really waste their time advertising it? I'm all for cynicism but let's be real, if you're holding a sign in the dead of winter in NYC predicting the apocalypse, you are hoping for it, because it might just be an upgrade.
Proclamations of Armageddon have existed since the inception of the intelligence of man. One who knows a beginning foresees an end. But I'm not worried. Why? Let's say the world was to end tomorrow, it would be done, it would be over and all the worriers would no longer exist. Televangelist would go to their make believe heaven and sinners to their imaginary hell and the rest of the energy would be re-dispersed accordingly.
Too bitter? How about we concentrate on the history of man, of disaster and overcoming it, there is no great meteor in our immediate future; we only dwell on the possibility. If the end is coming it is inevitable, no science, no faith is averting some great flood, so ignore it or accept it if the horizon brings disaster it's already here.
Live each day like it is your last. What a crock. There's a reason why life has an order and assuming today without tomorrow would be the same as ignoring all the yesterdays, we learn, we adapt, we survive for the purposes set forth...no bother. Why the diatribe? I'll get to that later but the long and short of it is a day doesn't go by without some passer mentioning or holding a sign about the inevitable conclusion of our wasted lives...if they really believed that, that the end was so near, would they really waste their time advertising it? I'm all for cynicism but let's be real, if you're holding a sign in the dead of winter in NYC predicting the apocalypse, you are hoping for it, because it might just be an upgrade.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
So hack but so true
I'm like a parrot, I tell my daily story over and over again the day it happens and then I forget it for months. Today I woke up pre-dawn to go to a psychiatrist (yes, I'm a little crazy) and picked up a new prescription that needed to be dropped off. I went to the store and it was only going to be ten minutes so I walked around and window shopped while I waited. Knowing that I was picking up medication for bipolar disorder I figured no need for embarrassment and went to the condoms aisle, which is always next to the pregnancy test, and that has been said before (reference of coffins next to alcohol and cigarettes quote here) but surprisingly down the line were indigestion tablets and diarrhea medicine, followed eventually by gummy bears. It was like a montage aisle of the worst six weeks of anyone's one night stand gone wrong. Condom doesn't work, pregnancy test confirms, indigestion abounds, diarrhea follows and finally cravings for the non-aborted fetus begin. I have an imagining of choose your own adventure aisles at this point, walk down aisle two if you want to resume responsibilities for diapers and formula, aisle three for a life of guilt and regret which is laced with porn and alcohol, (probably what got you into trouble in the first place.)
So back to reality after playing through these events I pick up a thing of KY and a medium sized box of the blue Trojans along with a video game magazine and a bottle of Aleve and arrive to the counter after hearing my name. I put the items down preparing to pay and Mr. Pharmacist starts striking up a conversation with me. "Oh you live on Cheryl? I live on Judith, we're like neighbors, I'm Joe," as he shakes my hand. You're not my neighbor, you're my pharmacist I want anonymity, not a name and an address. Now I'm not embarrassed because I don't let it get to me but I'm thinking isn't there etiquette for these situations, you don't strike up small talk at an STD testing center do you? Anyway, it occurred to me, to him, I'm a typical customer and apparently and atypical neighbor because I actually introduce myself, but now all day I'm trying to come up with a purchase order that puts this guy in an awkward position to the point where he doesn't have the normalcy to ask my name and shake my hand...all suggestions welcome.
So back to reality after playing through these events I pick up a thing of KY and a medium sized box of the blue Trojans along with a video game magazine and a bottle of Aleve and arrive to the counter after hearing my name. I put the items down preparing to pay and Mr. Pharmacist starts striking up a conversation with me. "Oh you live on Cheryl? I live on Judith, we're like neighbors, I'm Joe," as he shakes my hand. You're not my neighbor, you're my pharmacist I want anonymity, not a name and an address. Now I'm not embarrassed because I don't let it get to me but I'm thinking isn't there etiquette for these situations, you don't strike up small talk at an STD testing center do you? Anyway, it occurred to me, to him, I'm a typical customer and apparently and atypical neighbor because I actually introduce myself, but now all day I'm trying to come up with a purchase order that puts this guy in an awkward position to the point where he doesn't have the normalcy to ask my name and shake my hand...all suggestions welcome.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Procrastinate no more
If something doesn't get done tomorrow, it never gets done. I'm not officially starting this yet although my livejournal turned private journal turned blank pages needs to be transferred to a new medium. I need a place to put my non-material and why shouldn't this be it. No self description, no political views, no religious diatribes, I discuss people because I have a small mind and ideas are too complex for me. I misquote the greats because they've said it better already and while television is the bane of my existence it also keeps me going along with eavesdropping and video games. I don't drink coffee but I spend too much time in coffee shops, I don't smoke but I stand outside of bars, I tend to ramble...No looking back at old entries. Start anew and keep this a little less personal and a little more relatable. Until next time...
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